Do You Have a Priority List?

Sometimes, when caught up with so many things that need to get done, we don’t even know which to put first. What’s even worst is that sometimes, we consume much of our time and effort on insignificant matters, while unintentionally disregarding the more important ones.

Do you have your set of priorities? Do you have the list of your to-do’s and the order or precedence that you should follow? If you haven't done it yet, try to make a list, consider their importance and start sorting them from the most significant stuff (maybe the most urgent) - to the ones that can be postponed or can be attended to some other time.

Here's an example of the hierarchy of priorities I created. In my case, I am a full time mom, and at the same time, I have a part-time home-based job, and I'm also into arts & crafts which turned into a small-time, occasional business venture as well.

At the top of the rank and occupies the largest section of my priorities (illustrated in an inverted triangle model) - is my family - my kids and my husband.

Family always comes first.

If I would be asked to choose which will come first between my kids and my husband… as of the moment, our children are at the age and stage of still needing care and attention, so definitely, my kids (yes because they are still kids) will always come first (and the husband knows, understands, and agrees with it 100%).

Next in the rank is myself. You cannot pour from an empty cup. So you also need to give yourself time and importance. Like if you are a hands-on parent to your child(ren), you need to be strong and healthy always, so that you can take good care of them - so don't ever neglect yourself.

Next in line is my regular (part-time) job. Right next to that is my small-time business. In my case, most of the time, my home-based job (now for 10 years already) will be given more priority (than my crafts business) since I got a schedule to follow and deadline to meet on a regular basis. On occasional moments when I have got many orders for my business, and that I must spend more time for it, I will lessen my time for myself - or for less important matters - but not my time for my family, especially for my kids. In situations when caught up with multiple tasks and concurrent deadlines at work, I will "borrow" /take a few hours that’s supposedly allocated for my business (especially if orders are low or i still have a lot of time before the deadline). Or maybe, skip some “me” time, just so I can finish all the work deadlines on time.

But what I assure is that no matter how tight my deadlines are, the time for my family would and should not be sacrificed. Play time, homework time, movie time, story time, and our meal times together, should be the most important time to spend with the most important people in my life.

Waste time with your children, so that they can realize that love is always free. -Pope Francis

Maybe you’re probably thinking it’s just a sham. Or perhaps you think it’s not that easy, maybe too complicated (in case you’ve got tons of responsibilities to deal with) and that making such a list is just a waste of time. Maybe you think it’s easy for me to say since I only got a few stuff (well compared to you?) to deal with every single day. Or it’s easier for me because I’m a stay-at-home mom and I also work at home, so my sched is more flexible than yours; plus the fact that I have my husband to help me with everything - who can give me a hand anytime I needed to. And at times, when things get really hectic and even toxic for the both of us, our extended families will also come to the rescue. So maybe, yes, it’s easy for me to make all these plans, list of priorities, etc. and follow them accordingly because in times when my/our hands are full, there will be other hands to help us out.

But let me tell you this, the real reason why it's easier for me to say this now - is because I tried to make my list(s) and it worked for me. I wrote them down (those that matter to me and that I consider as the essentials in my life), made a plan or prioritization, and try to follow it as consistent as I possibly can. And if you ask me, do I always follow and abide by the list I made? Of course, my answer to that is - not all the time. But I always try to do better next time, and continuously remind myself what/who really are my priorities more than anything else.

Sometimes, when we work so hard, we forget the real reason, for whom we do all the hard work for.

Yes, I also came to the point that in my willingness (and desperation I guess) to meet all the work deadlines that had piled up, I had to work on weekends, sacrificing our family time and weekend bonding. We’ve also experienced ‘petsa de peligro’, wherein my baby's milk was already running low, but apparently our wages were not yet coming (in my case, delayed output means delayed payment).

I’ve also experienced waking up late, because I only got 2 hours of sleep due rush orders (sometimes handmade/customized orders are meticulously designed and require lots of time to make) - and because of that, I wasn’t able to even prepare breakfast for my kids before they go to school. And yes, I have experienced repeated failures in my job applications, even though I know I did the best that I could, why am I not always good enough? Why is there always someone better than me? And once I got hired, there were times that I wasn't even paid at all (one of the many risks of home-based jobs). It was a month worth of hard work, a month of effort and sleepless nights, which I should have just spent with my husband and kids.

My point is, there is no perfect life. But nothing good will happen if you worry or stress yourself out too much. Build yourself up. Think about it very carefully… do I use my time and energy wisely? And if your days are numbered, have you contemplated if you are spending your time and effort - in the right stuff, for the right stuff?

All of us have different priorities in life… and we all have our own reasons for such prioritization. But I do hope that whatever those reasons are, I hope they can justify why certain things need to be put first than the others. And always remember that you can’t have everything that you want, and that you can’t simply do/accomplish everything, because in the real world, there will always be something that needs to be sacrificed in favor of another.

But, in the effort to make (almost) all things work for you, it will be helpful to weigh and balance them. Which will you put first? Is it work over family? Career over love life? Your own needs and happiness vs the others’? You can choose the more important ones in expense of the minor things; or keep them both and maintain a good balance of them. But then again, the phrase ‘the best of both worlds’ for me is overrated; so I wouldn’t say you’ll get the best of both; but then at least you got both, it’s up to you how to make the most out of it. Would you be contented, or would you aim for more?

Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of what you already have.

And lastly, in everything you do, just remember God and do it all in His glory. If your every move and decision will be offered in His name, you will never go wrong and will always lead the right path.